


I want to hold your hand

by Adeline_Hatter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Telepathy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreamsharing, F/M, Gen, Listen we all knew I was gonna write Widobrave and I have such a long ass list of ideas, Mutual Pining, Possibly a two shot, Telepathy, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25087753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeline_Hatter/pseuds/Adeline_Hatter
Summary: A side effect of Widogast's Transmogrification becomes apparent in the weeks that follow it's use to restore Veth to her own body.Caleb and Veth find themselves more entangled then ever before when they're thoughts start to mix.
Relationships: Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 12
Kudos: 124





	I want to hold your hand

It is not that easy to notice at first, since her head tends to move a mile a second with different thoughts and feelings, how she tends to shove them to the side in favour of focusing on one problem or one person, one thought that she would repeat to drown out all of the others. 

She repeats it like a mantra, it’s easier than even attempting to take one step into the raging rivers of her mind, so it’s a little weird when suddenly, a thought breaks through her head. 

It is not of the usual intrusive sort that produces things she never thought she’d ever think of, that proceed to get shoved because she cannot process them as she currently stands and most likely will never be able to. 

So when ‘ _I need these components for this spell and I think Nicodranus doesn’t sell them so I may need to take a trip back to Xorhaus-’_ passes through her mind, she barely really pays it any attention. 

She doesn’t even realise it wasn’t her thought until two days later and she leans back against the hull of the ship to think about it. 

This is how she works out that actually, some of her thoughts recently were never hers to begin with, she wondered who they belong to, though she realised she may never get the answer she wants.

A stray curse in a language she recognises floods her mind, it drowns her own out and her head snapping in the direction of the only person on the ship who speaks the language. 

It’s impossible, she shook it off, Caleb’s thoughts in her head- 

Veth takes a deep breath and stands, it was all the time spent on board the ship, she was not losing her mind, she needs to sleep not spend time dwelling on this.

* * *

_Endless darkness encases him, there is barely any light and he cannot move his head- His very being is too small, too lithe and too still._

_The darkness in question is soft to the touch, freezing cold and cloying at his skin, dragging him down into the abyss that surrounds him, it’s almost funny, that he is being turned almost glacial by his surroundings and he is still._

_He is so still, but his throat is burning, every inch of his skin is burning._

_All his gaze meets is inky blue, dark to the touch and it leaves stains behind on his skin, on his too small hand that is floating to his side and he is still._

_His throat is burning, there is no air but he is so cold, his body is shocked and soaked into it._

_Pulling him down, slowly like two hands on his ankles and he is so still, there is no jitter in his fingertips, no lingering need to move._

_Where is the fire? The flames that would climb towards him, they are apparently deciding to take a break as he is kept here in surrounded by what is either water or oil- It feels like a mixture of both as he is dragged down._

_Air is ripped from his lungs over and over again, a short gasp and he cannot breathe, eyes moving frantically around him, looking for anything before light strikes around him and moves too fast to stop or run from._

_It rushes towards him in a wave, engulfing him before it starts to crack and the dark leaks back through, light- dark, light and dark as if he is caught between the two states of time and level._

_Caleb feels his eyes start to burn now, as it becomes too much and-_

Air, he has air as he bolts up in bed, gulping it down like it is water and he is dehydrated to the point of death. 

His eyes now adjust to the low light levels in the hurl of the Ball Eater, he hears snoring nearby from the others as he pushes himself upright and tries to _think_ properly, still gulping down air in large deep breathes. 

There were few things he would wager in this life time, but that had to be what it felt like to drown and lose open all at once, lost and alone… Alone and lost- 

He pushes the covers aside and stands, shakily, bones still quaking a bit and he is back to being jittery all over in the way that he tends to be, he knows in some way that the nightmare hadn’t been his own… But _who’s_ nightmare… Water, drownin- 

_Nott._

No, Veth, it was Veth, always had been _Veth._

His feet don’t make much of a sound as he walks through the ship, he can hear Orly and the crew up above as he searches for her, there’s a light pull in his head and he follows it towards a small bed that is shoved into the corner. 

Under the covers a lump is curled into a ball, he can just see the top of her head as he approaches, keeping his footsteps as soft as he possibly can, “Veth?” He whispers, snaking a hand over where he believes her shoulder to be and shaking her gently. 

  
  


"Not- Veth?" He nudges her again, being as gentle to wake her as he could possibly be, the mass under the covers shifts, hair disappearing under the blanket before appearing again, pools made of darkness stare at him heavy with sleep, for a moment when she blinks and the aquamarine shines he thinks her eyes will open with the familiar glow he knows, but his heart beats when they open and all that greets him is stars made of soft low light. 

A hand made of a cool sepia brown comes up and rubs the side of her face, "Caleb?" She breathes, sleepy and he is reminded of nights so long ago now spent sleeping on the side of a road.

“Ja, it’s me.” He keeps his voice soft, watches as she moves to sit herself upright so she can face him properly, her hands rub at her face a little more and he fights the urge to grab and hold them to stop her, “Veth, I think we may have a problem.” 

Her eyes widen, taking in the stars-

“Stars? Caleb we’re…” Veth trails off, staring at him, sleep clearing from her gaze, “Caleb, I can hear your thoughts, can you…” 

She pauses, taking him in, pursing her lips. 

_‘Can you hear mine?’_

“Yes.” He breathes softly, she meets his eyes properly and whilst silence stretches between them in the quiet hull of the ship. 

  
Chaos reigned in their minds. 

* * *

  
  


They do not mention this to the others, neither is sure why, the presence that lays down in their heads is foreign but not unkind or unwelcome. 

It’s easy to forget the first instance after realising it, that she _has_ to keep a watch over her thoughts, she cannot let stray ones linger too long or too often, she cannot think about the cut of his jaw or how his eyes shine a little when he’s navigating or- 

_Veth, are you alright?_

It screams, Caleb listens without meaning too as well… _Fine, I’m okay, just… This is weird Caleb._

He looks up, a simple and brief glance from the map in front of him, she wonders how they will navigate this honestly, will they learn how to put up barriers in their minds or find some way of putting an end to it… 

_We’ll figure it out, we always do._

_Caleb… Are you translating your thoughts to me?_ Her eyes catch his, realising that common isn’t his first language again so he… He _has_ to be. 

_No._

Oh, well that’s a bold faced lie- 

_I’m not lying!!_

She laughs, she can’t help it and immediately eyes are turning to her, Jester’s eyebrows crease in confusion, “What are you laughing at, Veth?” She asks, curious now more than confusion. 

“Oh, just a joke I heard a little while ago.” 

_I’m a joke now then?_

Jester’s eyes light up immediately, “A joke?” She claps, “Will you tell it?” 

Veth settles the awkwardness into herself, it’s not foreign she’s always felt some awkwardness after all but right now, “Um-” 

“Only if you want to though!” Her friend adds quickly now. 

Caleb speaks up, “You should tell it, Veth, we all need a bit of laughter.” 

_Oh, Fuck you,_ but she smiles anyway, “Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?” Veth starts, meeting Jester’s eyes, “Because they always take things literally.” 

“Bold thing to say coming from a thief.” Beau interjects as Jester starts laughing at what Veth _knows_ is a terrible joke, she doesn’t miss how Beau’s eyes don’t really leave Jesse as she laughs, nor do Fjord’s for that matter, “Though that was a really bad joke, Veth.” 

The awkward air still hangs, but she musters a bigger smile and replies, “Yeah, but I like it.” 

“It is a clever joke.” Caleb’s voice cuts through the awkwardness and she raises her eyebrows at him, he raises his own back. 

Veth decides that she hates Caleb, just a little bit these days.

_You don’t hate me._

He couldn’t prove that. 

_Yes, actually I can._

* * *

  
  


_You think a lot._

_Do I? Don’t brains just usually do that?_

_No, it’s… It’s more like you have something on your mind you don’t want to acknowledge._

_That’s not it._

_It’s like a river in here, Veth._

_Speak for yourself, you go through a million topics a second._

_Do I?_

_Yes, it’s distracting, constant streams of magical theory and…_

_And?_

_Waxing poetry about people._

_Ah, so you can hear that then?_

_‘Starlight in her eyes’_

_You can hear it._

_We should work out how to lock each other out sometimes._

_Ja, we should._

  
  


_Okay but before we do that, have you noticed the amount of flirting Beau and Yasha have been doing??_

_They’ve been flirting?_

_Extensively._

_…_

_Tell me more._


End file.
